A tale of two cocks

Tom did not know that his love interest would take his joke about chicken seriously and was surprised to feel such empathy for the birds on D-day, writes Dennis D. Muhumuza

He returned a little early and found two cocks, white and red, roped together outside his door. “Cock-a-doodle-doo…cock-a-doodle-doo,” the cry rung out of the beak of the white cock, so piercing he pushed his fingers in his ears to protect his eardrums.

“Tom’s back home!” exclaimed his next door neighbour and good friend. She came over and with a huge smile, wrapped her arms around him in a lingering hug. “What’s the meaning of this,” said Tom, looking down at the pair of roosters.

“Shy guy,” returned she, eyes bubbling with merriment, “Ihose are two cocks; you’re going to wring their necks immediately and set our little business in gear, remember?”

With that, Rose was soon gone, leaving behind a rosy scent and a baffled Tom. Just the other evening, she had sought Tom’s advice on supplementing her income. And Tom had humoured himself, saying they could form a partnership selling roasted chicken on weekends.She had given him her brightest smile but never in his wildest imagination could he have guessed she would buy his joke.

Shrugging, Tom turned to scrutinise the two cocks, which by their sheer sizes had been selected by a skilful eye.

“Cock-a-doodle-doo,” the white cock jolted him again with its incessant crowing, its prominent red-comb juddering like it wanted to fall off of its own accord. It must have been a cocky but cowardly cock in its good times. Poor thing, thought Tom, dreading the presage of disaster about to befall it.

The red one was looking down broodingly. Tom stared long at it. In its reticence, it seemed to have shrivelled beneath its feathers, its eyes appeared to be sinking in their sockets, and its small comb made some despairing movements; it was certainly shaken to the core by the impending death but was handling it courageously.

“Make your last wish and it shall be granted,” said Tom sympathetically. The taciturn cock closed its eyes forlornly, whereas the one with a puny heart and rugged feet waddled and fumbled about and unleashed another shattering crow.

“Shut up, quaky cock!” shouted Tom with an asperity that shook the ground on which he stood. “Don’t drive me insane else I shall break your neck before your hour.”

He excused himself and returned with a platter of rice and bowl of water but in their melancholy, the cocks didn’t touch a thing.

“I can’t help you, my friends,” said Tom, exasperated. “The inevitable must happen. I don’t know in whose stomachs your delicious backs and wings and necks and thighs… shall end, but I know that in heaven we shall meet again.”

Tom excused himself again and returned with his Nikon Coolpix L3, went on bended knee, pointed his camera and pressed the shutter button.

“I’ll keep the best shot for remembrance’s sake,” said he softly. “I’m about to cut your necks off as the politics of enterprise dictate, but I plead with you to bear no grudge, for a time will come and I, too, shall die and join you in heaven, where we shall party and suffer no more.”

Rose, who had been secretly watching this almost incredulous episode with rosy amusement, was shocked when Tom looked up with tears in his eyes. She strode over and wrapped her arms around him and her strong breasts rubbed his chest, repressing the heaviness of his heart. He looked in the deepness of her eyes and told her he loved her.

“I’ve waited a long time to hear those words from you, Tom,” murmured Rose, hardly containing the sudden electricity charging through her body. “I love you, Tom, I love you forever!”

--Sunday Monitor, February 7, 2010