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Saturday, February 9, 2008

'Girls just want to have fun’

It is a cool evening at Mary Stuart hall a.k.a Box. Beautiful girls can be seen strutting about with gentle ease. A fleet of big cars packed in front of Box is a wonder to see! Pajeros and Jeeps. Small and big. Tinted windows... Babes are easing in and banging on doors like they own them automobiles. What's the animation about...oh it's a Friday. Time to party!But first, lets rewind a bit.

Who owns these vehicles? What are they doing at Makerere this jolly dusk? Who are the faces behind the steering wheels? Where are they taking these dames?

Friends, the answers to the puzzle are that city 'tycoons' what Campusers call the working class. Most are married, others not. Age. Gauge it from 35-50. And the girls they pick? Between 19 and 25. Then, they cruise with their dates probably to Nandos where they will go paka chini as they destroy bones (read chicken), munch chips, chaps and fish! Of course washed down with some fine wine!

As a young man, you cannot afford this but it explains why young girls always pursue older men. Now you even know where your ex-girl gets money to change her hairstyle after every two days, or how she set her hands to that expensive mobile phone. Yes, you know!

My little survey came with positive results. You may have those killer looks, or be endowed with a sensuous charm, an American height, the macho body and the brains, but dear, if you are the same age as her, or a year ahead and still a student, lose hope. If she's hanging around, she is playing games. The older money baron could be hidden under her bra.It is been proven beyond doubt that young girls prefer older men to their age mates.

They may not necessarily love them, or intend to marry them. Whether married or not, that old geezer has a fat chance over you, if he has got the shillings. Sheila of Makerere university paints the true picture, "What young girls want to have is fun, free stuff; airtime, the latest cellphone…they run after older men who have extra cash to spend, can take you out all the time, or order to have food delivered to your room at campus," she says.

Hear, hear! This in exchange for sex: nothing to lose, much to gain. No, much to lose after all because a recent study by Colombia University found out that when girls date men who are much older than them, those girls are six times more likely to smoke (both cigarettes and weed a.k.a marijuana) than girls who date guys of their own age.

But the real shocker came from Innocent, a second-hand clothes dealer in St Balikudembe Market who said his 23-year-old sister insisted on marrying a 52 year older widower against her family's wish. And two years in marriage, the guy dies; Monica sells everything and flies to Europe. She hadn't even gotten a kid from him, she is now happily married and a successful business lady.

So guys, you had better, watch out. These young girls are schemers. And also, before dating these old men, girls should go slowly.

"A man much older than you will just use you to gratify his sexual pleasure. True that he can give you everything you need. But that's not enough," says an angry Judith before adding, "I fell in love with a working man who is 12 years my senior, but after getting what he wanted, he started ordering me about for sex, became arrogant…never trust those guys, they have families and all they want is your flesh."

If you entered most of the girl's rooms in hostels around Makerere, you will be surprised at how rich they are. They have expensive fridges, woollen carpets, giant television screens, Sony decks, 5CD Changer radio, and so much stuff that parents can hardly buy for their children. As it is, many of these girls depend on their lovermen for such luxuries, as long as they know they can pay back in any possible way. Any.

There are however, few cases of genuine love where girls have gone on to marry men who are exceedingly older than them. In 1993, in Baha, Southern Saudi Arabia, a 12-year-old girl married a 70-year old man, despite the great age gap. The young bride became the fourth wife of the 70-year-old at a wedding attended by close families. You may consider this very unusual, but when love pricks, it tickles deeper.

Among other true reasons why young girls prefer dating older adulterers is that they feel secure around them.

"Girls grow much quicker than men," says Joan. "You find men my age reasoning like babies. Dating them would be ridiculous as they are too young to think for themselves."

But underneath all this, is that older men know what they want when it comes to sex.

'Older men are like fine wine. They get better with age," screams a line on when it conducted a chat on the topic, 'Young Girls, Older Men, What's the Attraction.' The same discussion raised many points.

"Young boys are not so mature, they just want sex."

"Love has no discrimination. If two people fall in love, it doesn't matter which age they are."

Another was straightforward, "I'll tell you what younger girls like about older men, and they can f*** you hard all night!"

For Christine, a resident in Bwaise: "It's because older men have had their share of life, they know what they want, and they are patient, confident and very understanding."

Unfortunately, many girls have fallen victims. Some teachers have been inside a prison for sexually abusing children. Girls who always go to look for jobs understand this. Your prospective employer may 'feel' like sex when you want a job. Most of these crooks can demand it right away while others will use force. Say, he invites you in his private office, and then he coerces you into sex upon which he later showers you with money and before you know it, you have become his secretary with sex roles to play.

Most girls can't even detect what these matures have been through. What if they give you HIV?

But anyway, it really doesn't matter whether you date a young dude or a mzeei. What matters is love. After all age is just a number. He may be 30 years older but if he induces butterflies in your stomach, then why not, go on and recite him those wonderful Shakespearean lines: "To me, fair friend, you never can be old. For as you were when first your eyes I eyed, such seems your beauty still!

Good luck!

Published by Daily Monitor, November 19, 2004